Wading Thru The Muck ~ When To Let Go & When To Hang Tuff!
Posted on May 21st, 2008
by 
oliviazen
oliviazen
A recent stream of events has caused me to pause for a moment, well, more than just one, and reconsider the course of this thing called 'my Life'. I've been on a mission for a pretty long time, a mission to examine how I operate and change those things which no longer serve me. Sort of like lying in the pyre, allowing the fire to consume me, and rise again just as the Phoenix rises every 500 years. It is said that with each rising, more of 'who' you are comes to fore. I believe this to be true, but sometimes the heat gets a bit uncomfortable. A friend put it this way, "If you can't handle the heat, don't tickle the Dragon". I love that little phrase, and when the fire gets too hot, it seems to help me tremendously. And so....
During this 'stream of events', I found myself wondering 'why' about a lot of stuff. Like why would anyone intentionally attempt to cause pain to another? Or why, by a certain time in a person's life, would they resort to the behavior of a 12 year old? Or...most importantly, why do I even wonder why? After all, I'm the one who put my canoe in the river. If the water gets too murky, it's up to me to steer elsewhere, yes? When those muddy waters turn to muck, the boat is likely to get stuck BIG TIME. So, having been Captain of my canoe for all this time, one would think it'd be a simple matter of just paddling downstream, as opposed to fighting the currents, yes? If this is the case, and I know it to be true, what difference does it make whether or not others are ATTEMPTING to impede my progress? Does it? Does it really matter?
I have come to believe that the only things that cause us 'trouble' are those things we hang on to. There was a time when the adage 'hang tuff' was what I thought was the 'right' way to do things. Now, however, I think a bit differently. I think that the whole 'letting go' process is a much more sane approach. When we let go, we have only our own Spirit to guide us to a landing. I always refer back to my very favorite quote:
When you come to the edge of all you know
You must believe in one of two things
You will be given earth on which to stand
Or you will be given wings
So, as this stream of events unfolded, I found myself chanting this little phrase. Over and over, taking deep breaths and keeping my Self centered, I repeated this mantra...and actually managed to stay calm! A year ago, this would not have been the case. A year ago, I'd have been ranting like a banshee, determined to 'get my revenge'. I'd have called in 'the forces' and made plans to retaliate, much like the old-time mobsters did back in the day. That would have been my driving force. Revenge, retaliation, justice. But not today. Today, I am aware of the repercussions of such actions. I am aware that whatever I do to anyone else, comes back to me a hundred fold. I am happily aware that justice is not my job. Justice is an inside job for a power much larger than this puny human. And I trust that power as I trust the sun to rise each day.
It's a really terrific feeling, letting go. It's so much more conducive to living in joy. It's FREEDOM at it's very best. Letting go of those things we have no control of...THIS is what it means to be free. The best I can wish for now, in lieu of revenge, is that those who wish to harm others find some semblance of peace one day soon. Instead of thinking harmful thoughts toward them, I light a candle and say a prayer. 'Please, please give them a moment of peace. Please, please show them love. Please, shine the light of your Grace on them so they may find land on which to stand or wings to fly."
During this 'stream of events', I found myself wondering 'why' about a lot of stuff. Like why would anyone intentionally attempt to cause pain to another? Or why, by a certain time in a person's life, would they resort to the behavior of a 12 year old? Or...most importantly, why do I even wonder why? After all, I'm the one who put my canoe in the river. If the water gets too murky, it's up to me to steer elsewhere, yes? When those muddy waters turn to muck, the boat is likely to get stuck BIG TIME. So, having been Captain of my canoe for all this time, one would think it'd be a simple matter of just paddling downstream, as opposed to fighting the currents, yes? If this is the case, and I know it to be true, what difference does it make whether or not others are ATTEMPTING to impede my progress? Does it? Does it really matter?
I have come to believe that the only things that cause us 'trouble' are those things we hang on to. There was a time when the adage 'hang tuff' was what I thought was the 'right' way to do things. Now, however, I think a bit differently. I think that the whole 'letting go' process is a much more sane approach. When we let go, we have only our own Spirit to guide us to a landing. I always refer back to my very favorite quote:
When you come to the edge of all you know
You must believe in one of two things
You will be given earth on which to stand
Or you will be given wings
So, as this stream of events unfolded, I found myself chanting this little phrase. Over and over, taking deep breaths and keeping my Self centered, I repeated this mantra...and actually managed to stay calm! A year ago, this would not have been the case. A year ago, I'd have been ranting like a banshee, determined to 'get my revenge'. I'd have called in 'the forces' and made plans to retaliate, much like the old-time mobsters did back in the day. That would have been my driving force. Revenge, retaliation, justice. But not today. Today, I am aware of the repercussions of such actions. I am aware that whatever I do to anyone else, comes back to me a hundred fold. I am happily aware that justice is not my job. Justice is an inside job for a power much larger than this puny human. And I trust that power as I trust the sun to rise each day.
It's a really terrific feeling, letting go. It's so much more conducive to living in joy. It's FREEDOM at it's very best. Letting go of those things we have no control of...THIS is what it means to be free. The best I can wish for now, in lieu of revenge, is that those who wish to harm others find some semblance of peace one day soon. Instead of thinking harmful thoughts toward them, I light a candle and say a prayer. 'Please, please give them a moment of peace. Please, please show them love. Please, shine the light of your Grace on them so they may find land on which to stand or wings to fly."
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change
May 2008
Funny how that works like a boomerang, hug someone and get hugged, hit em in the head and you have a headache, ignore everyone and you feel lonely. Headaches and loneliness are just way too last year, don't ya think?
LOL…yepyep…SOOOOOO last year!